LOS ANGELES, CA—As of 20 July 2017, First City Credit Union has begun issuing a new credit card which, they claim, is more secure than any yet seen.
“I think we can confidently say that this new card is not only more secure than any other bank’s, but also more secure than any that will be invented in the foreseeable future,” said spokesman David Smith.
“The key insight that led to this new technology is that the number one cause of credit card fraud is the fact that it allows access to the owner’s money. Therefore, the most efficient way to prevent credit-card-related fraud is to prevent all access to the card owner’s account from the outset.”
The new card is set up so that any use of it is immediately flagged as suspicious activity, and the payment it was used for is immediately refused.
First City Credit Union members are elated at this new level of security. “I’m getting one of those new cards as soon as I get time to go to the bank!” said local resident Raphael “Raff” Jones. “It used to be whenever I lost my card, I would have to call the bank, sit on hold for half an hour, answer a bunch of questions, and request a new card to be sent in a week. Now, even if I lose my card, I don’t have to do anything. So convenient!”
Smith added that to encourage card owners to be cautious with their money, reward points will be granted for every month the card owner does not use his card. The reward points in turn are protected by a system whereby every time the account holder uses said points, his points are dropped to zero, the reward request is refused, and his account is placed on lock down. ■